Subtitle - The thrill of the chase
Yearn... that's an awkward word. To desire or seek. It's simple, but heaven knows it's one of the most annoying relationship challenges we go through.
There's something attractive about things we don't have. It happens for everything, people, money, cars, phones, clothes, bags, shoes, you name it. We see something that looks good, we start to think about all the things we could do with them, how we'd look with them, or how it would just change our lives in some huge way. The thing is, we dream way too big sometimes. No matter how much we try or imagine, things (and people) don't always live up to the potential we've given them in our heads (this ties into not dating someone off of potential but that's another post itself).
Human beings want stuff, that's just a fact of life. Personal satisfaction is getting rarer and rarer, as shown by the rising number of open relationships and just lack of commitment in general. We always want the next best thing, and in a world where we can order the brand new iPhone off of amazon and have it delivered the next day, if you have enough money, it's not hard to see why.
We tend to want the things that are farthest in reach, there's something exciting about the pursuit of a new target. The thrill of the chase, but what we're missing out on, is feasting on the kill. The satisfaction of finally "catching your target" and being in that relationship with that dream person ends up not being all it's cracked up to be, or just doesn't last long, and the people who yearn the most have experienced this way too many times. So my theory, is that over time, that disappointment subconsciously stays, but the exciting part, the chasing and pursuit, that still makes us as excited as ever so we tend to dwell on that feeling. What pursuit is more exciting than one that seems impossible? That part of our personality that deals with romantic relationships, that part is either an extroverted thrill-seeker or an introverted trapper - but both of those personalities do need to eventually rest at some point, and that's the magic in between where growth happens.
So why do we yearn for people we can't have? because we're greedy beings who love the thrill of the chase and the prospect of potential.
PS :- That's the sum of it, but like always, there's always the possibility that every single thing I've said here was wrong. To that effect, here's another theory I've considered, the thrill of the chase that I've talked about is really just a result of us not having ever received that over the years. We chase because we weren't chased. It shows/is evident when you look at male romantic culture, they always go after the girl because rarely does it happen where the girl openly goes after the guy. So with the guys who experienced that, they aren't as addicted to that chaser lifestyle, it just balances out.
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