Three-fourths of the way through! If this whole thing was being graded we're at least at a 75% or B+ now so that makes me feel better and keeps me going.
Life as we know it is very complex. There are all these unwritten rules and social nuances that most people are expected to just know. Once you reach a certain age you're expected to be able to juggle work, money, school, family, a social life, romance, spirituality for some, alone time, your passions, helping others, and so much more. Everyone does it, so it can't be that hard right? Well if that were true professions like therapy wouldn't be a thing. All this to say, it's rare to go through adult life without getting a little hurt along the way. In a similar vein, It's impossible to go through multiple relationships without them being an important part of who you are today and an important part of who your next partner falls in love with.
Is it necessary then for your current partner to know about your past relationships? When I asked Samuel this question I kind of already knew his answer but yeah, knowing can indeed help a lot when those old wounds start to bleed into your current relationship. I can't imagine the feeling you'd get if you were to unintentionally hurt your partner because you bring up something from their past that didn't exactly leave a good impression; an unfortunate example would be getting into an argument and instead of completely flipping out or bursting into tears, you just shut down and have the most neutral reaction while leaving the physical environment because you feel like you need to process it calmly, but to your partner, that's indicative of an ex who eventually stopped caring and eventually left them after "falling out of love" with them. That's not what you feel but it's what it looks like to them because it's happened before. Anyway, this isn't what happened with Samuel and Ann but I have seen it and it genuinely sucks to be in a state of miscommunication like that.
Before moving on to the next question, I just want to leave this here - as someone's significant other you'd assume that you seek a good and healthy life for that person that's filled with growth and fun; to best support that person, knowing what's hurt them and what's helped them in the past is a hell of a tool to keep at your disposal. Samuel and Ann knew this and that's why they're able to properly make an influence in each other's life
New flames! just the word flame is exciting in this context because it signifies fire, sparks, and the start of new life. What do you do though when that new flame is ignited in someone else for your partner?
Maybe flame is too strong a word for a simple crush or visual appreciation, but it can still affect you sometimes. The deadly what-ifs can pop up like "What if she finds him attractive too?" or "What if he's looking for something new in his life?" If that happens a much-needed conversation needs to be had about insecurities and how much you both truly care for each other but that's just one of the reactions you can have.
I don't find it difficult calling other people attractive or pretty (unless they're in the room then it becomes a bit harder) and both Samuel and Ann are genuinely good-looking people, so asking Samuel this question I figured he'd already felt it before because it's pretty much inevitable with those two. He said four words that exude the confidence that it takes to date someone - "I know she's pretty." He obviously said more than that but it looks better on paper when the hero gives nice one-liners. Anyway, yeah he knows she's pretty, he's dating her after all. So what does he feel when others find her attractive? Nothing negative, because of two factors.
She's with him, and no one else
He has enough confidence in himself and their relationship to know that a random person thinking of her as pretty isn't enough to ruin it.
"Baby it's cold outside..." Nah seriously it's annoyingly cold, maybe because we're actually going outside this year, but it does remind you of why it's called cuffing season sometimes. I mean who doesn't want to spend their Saturday cuddled up with another actual human being as opposed to being alone? For that reason, we'll be finishing up Samuel and Ann's takes next time (the rest of the questions I had for them are a bit too personal for this platform, oops) and discussing how to get guys and maybe reasons for getting into relationships. Open to any new topics :)
Comentários