Yes, but they’re not for everyone. There’s no point making your life about finding them. That's the short answer
We are all a mess, let's face it. We catch feelings for people, get all up in our head, fantasize, and end up creating a cloud of bias over them. We always think "Oh! she/he's the one, they're the best person I've ever liked, if I don't date them I'm missing out on my future!" A bit exaggerated but you get the point. Everyone's the "best" until another person comes along the next month.
But personally, I believe that indeed, there is one person out there for each of us. Will you know as soon as you meet them? Grey area.
The person you're with may not be your soulmate when you first meet, but over time, as you grow and mature, they'll grow to be your soulmate as well... that's my theory at least for college sweethearts who were lucky enough to be dealt a deck of cards that allowed them to become compatible full-fledged adults down the line.
On that note, it doesn't mean there's a reason to hold out until you meet "THE ONE," it's unrealistic and frankly just shooting yourself in the foot. How are you, a whole clump of a human being, supposed to know how to properly treat partners if you don't get in messy relationships?
You can't know, because we grow through pain and bad experiences. 100 bad days are 90 good stories down the line, and 5 ex relationships are 4 mistakes you're not going to make with your soulmate, we might need to make the same mistake twice for it to properly sink in.
Now please don't go around seeking the messiest people so you can get all the mistakes in one relationship; to actually learn and grow, you have to be attracted (mentally and emotionally) to your possible ONE because when that happens, we go blind. Euphoria kicks in and the idea of having this semi-perfect relationship frankly just gets you excited, you ignore things like warning signs or red flags.
We need that blindness to occur - Think of your perfect relationship as your perfect house with many rooms and features that take the best parts of each place you've lived in all your life, ergo each room is a past relationship... but remember you're blind. Obviously, at first, it's going to take some getting used to; You'll bump into different things in different rooms, stub your toes, curse the dresser out, and maybe cry on the bathroom floor (if it really is the bathroom.) But! That just means that in your perfect house/amalgamation of relationships you'll know where everything is! The only thing you have to worry about is where each room is in relation to the others.
This metaphor is messy so here's the interpretation I have - figuring out where each room represents the "problems" that married/yet to be perfect couples have, once you've gotten the hang of your past experiences and mistakes then you'll be sweet, it's just the new room positioning (partner) that you need to adjust to.
Now if you don't really feel like a romantic relationship is for you right now, I have good news! A soulmate is defined as a person ideally suited to someone as a friend or romantic partner. But, that doesn’t mean you’re guaranteed to meet them! So don’t stress over it, if it’ll happen it’ll happen; if not, you’ll have some cool people in your life anyway that make up for it. That being said, everything here applies to your friendships as well, just give it everything you've got, the right one will have your back forever.
Thanks for the idea, Gem.
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