Excuse the clip art cover image okay? This is just my full-on personal opinion of what we should be confident about before getting a partner, it's a bit of a read so let's get started
1. Are you able to sit alone and not feel empty?
Starting blunt and straightforward (the best way to be honest), but yeah this speaks for itself. Are you someone who constantly craves other people's attention? Does even the mere thought of not having someone to binge Love is Blind with terrify you? If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, chances are you're not ready to be in a relationship. Why? Because whether we like it or not we need this thing in our life called balance; and if your lonely scale is always dialed up to 11, your balance is out of whack. Your potential partner (who is hopefully not out of whack) would appreciate the time to be alone sometimes. There will be nights where all they want to do is fall asleep to your voice... and other nights where they wanna get knocked out while scrolling through Instagram. If you're always dying for them to talk to you, then sorry but a long-lasting relationship is temporarily out of reach. In my professional opinion, I'd recommend taking a few weeks or even months for yourself, take the time to find out what makes you happy, essentially making sure that your happiness never falls under someone else's responsibility.
2. Are they way less mature than you?
If the answer is no, congrats! You've got yourself a potential life partner. If it's yes, here's why that's a bad sign. To put it simply, they're not on the same level as you. You might be thinking "Psh this doesn't matter, they're a tiny bit immature now but they're going to be all ripe and ready once we start dating, I have hope!" Nah fam, no one matures into a good partner overnight. This question also applies to you btw, don't go into a relationship if you're not mature enough, no one (in their right mind) wants to date a child, i.e it's not fun for the other person. This goes without saying.
3. Would you trust them with raising children?
Okay okay, hear me out. You don't want kids yet, that's perfectly fine, BUT, any good pairing of people should be able to responsibly take care of children... when the need arises. Who knows? your sister might need to leave her kid at your place for a few hours; you guys should be a responsible enough couple that it wouldn't be a problem. Trust me, you don't want to be the couple that people are scared to leave their kids with. The future is important! and kids are our future; I don't believe you should seek out a partner that can't even look after a couple of kids for a while and keep them alive/happy - That's if you don't want any kids of your own. If you do want some though... your partner should be a good potential parent in your eyes. Don't compromise and find yourself a soulmate who you can't even see as a father/mother in the far, distant future.
4. Are you able to handle jealous feelings when they eventually come?
Face it, humans are thinking beings, but we tend to get in our heads a bit too much. You might see your man talking to that new girl in class, she's twirling her hair and so you start stressing your precious soul to kingdom come. Boys, maybe you hear her laughing at your buddy's jokes even though he was never a comedian before then. How will you react? Anger? Get it in check and calm down. Sadness? Have a little hope for yourself. Complete Indifference? Put a little more concern into the potential end of your relationship. Nah I'm messing, what you're feeling right there is jealousy, and we're no strangers to it. Everyone's felt that, and unfortunately, it's ended up badly for some people. However, you'll probably find that in most cases, it was nothing. You just got a bit worried, reasonably so. It means you care about them. It's how you act afterwards that holds all the danger (here's a tip, it's only a big deal if you make it a big deal).
5. Does a good reputation precede them?
Little midway pit stop, how do you feel so far? Inspired? Great! Three more statements, that's all you get for this one - Your partner shouldn't be famously infamous. Your partner shouldn't be a proven heartbreaker. Your partner shouldn't be a professional dickhead.
6. Are you willing to wait for them? (i.e you're not in a rush)
Good things come to those who wait... and to those who are lucky. Luck and love don't mix, so your only option is to be patient. When actively seeking out something like a partner, be careful not to overlook cons and rush into things because there are some nice pros to them. Just focus on running your own race and finding the right path for yourself, sooner than later your dream person will be right there next to you. I've seen it happen, find your passions, the things that excite you and make you love life (A boyfriend/girlfriend does not count), if you think you've found the one then wait for them, if they're not worth waiting for then they're not the one. Having a relationship is a pretty freaking sweet bonus that only makes a good life even better, but if all you think about is whose hand you're gonna be holding tomorrow then that's a pretty sucky life to bring another person into, don't you think?
7. Are they fun to be around?
Bro! Sis! You have to laugh with the people you spend time with! That's like personally one of my top priorities. I gotta be able to laugh with my partner, I'm constantly making jokes (mostly sarcastic comments) so it'd be pretty boring if all she did was look me blank in the eyes. Matching senses of humour are a magical thing. It makes you feel not alone. Like sharing a KitKat, giving a piece of what makes you happy to another person and in turn, making them happy... what else could you ask for? If they don't make you laugh you should see why that is and try to make a change in some way. Trust me, it's worth it.
8. Would they give the same answer you did to 8 out of 10 of these questions?
Health. Health. Health. A healthy relationship is essential. Now I'm no relationship professional by ANY means, but this is some good stuff if you ask me. So if your potential bf doesn't have any success in this checklist, then sorry bud. if you both are unsuccessful, work together to make it better! Get a third party involved to keep you accountable if needed. Do whatever it takes to have a relationship that truly benefits you both.
9. Does their age match your stage?
Another tidbit on maturity (because it's uber important). How old they are matters. It's not a big deal, but it could be a deal-breaker. There are two common effects of getting older - Being more appreciative of others, or being more manipulative of others. It's easy to fake being sweet, especially when you've had lots of life experience. It's okay to date someone close in age to you, there are not many things as strengthening as going through similar struggles with someone close to you. Be compatible, be able to see things from their perspective and vice versa, it's a nice skill to develop when it comes to relationships :)
10. Would they make you an option or a priority? Long story short, it sucks when you give someone the best of yourself and they give you only half of themselves. Are they willing to do as much for you as you are for them? You might not want to be with someone who doesn't value you as much as you value them. Sometimes it's hard to know what that looks like so here are few somewhat painful signs I've observed over the decades - Do they value your time? Maybe being late one or two times is fine (people have busy lives!), but if they're always late whenever you're supposed to meet up then maybe they don't see you the same way you see them; doesn't mean they're a bad person, just that a romantic relationship might not be what they're looking for. It's logical, if you like someone enough, you'll make an effort to spend as much time as comfortably possible with them. If you're not getting the same energy then sorry bud, they're not the one, not yet. So yeah, be careful how much you sacrifice, relationships are meant to be symbiotic, not parasitic.
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