Limerence

11 months since I last wrote anything. It’s about time. This isn’t about anyone in particular, just wanted to dream for a bit 🎶

(Prepare for maximum softness)

He looked in her eyes for way longer than he thought he did. It lasted four seconds. In that time he felt something. He couldn’t figure out what it was until the moment it was over and his heart had concluded its rendition of ode to joy played through its heartbeats. His mind was taken to another world and it had one season, spring. With each heartbeat, he lost all focus and the sole thought on his mind at the end was figuring out how a four-second gaze felt like forever.

Learning the first - It was kind of overwhelming when he found himself in a completely new environment, so much so that he forgot to breathe. He needed some time to adjust.

Observing the second - Once he got his bearings he was able to take a look around, and peer into the deepness of her iris, noticing how it felt like they were now connected by more than just five senses.

Vacillating the third - Doubt creeps in to everyone at some point, and he found himself wondering how something like this was even possible, how could it feel like the rest of reality didn’t suddenly just fade away, but rather it felt like it never even existed to begin with.

Enjoying the fourth - Our traveler decided that it didn't matter, whether it was real or not, it's what he felt and he would rather choose to be happy than cautious because he only felt one thing - her.

Now obviously our hero here, we'll call him Amias, he is experiencing something he never felt, though I wonder if having that experience even once in your life is enough to make you feel like the pressures, worries and doubts that come with living on this earth are all worth it. An experience not dissimilar to finally feeling a breath of fresh air after suffocating for as long as you can remember. At that moment every negative aspect of reality was replaced by the spring of freshwater quenching thirst, surrounded by grass that felt like it had been planted on the soil of the heart of the universe. Jeez I have no idea where that came from, sorry.

To everyone but yourself, it looks to them like nothing more than any ordinary puddle of water surrounded weeds.

Why then does love between some people look like both of those realities? Frantically switching between the ecstasy and the misery constantly having to question whether their love is real? Or is it somewhere between the feeling of Heaven and Hell, somewhere mediocre. At that point is it even love anymore? Feeling like everything you have is theirs, yet they don’t deserve anything you could possibly give them.

What is it then? It’s knowing that what you're attempting to do is take a plunge into a sea of clouds, even though your whole life up until that point has been learning that doing so will most definitely lead to your demise; yet you still find yourself taking the first step and hoping for the best. It’s also simply nothing more than a feeling that the person you're sat next to is the type of person you’ve always wanted to have in your life. It often starts feeling like how Amias did, the perfect world with the perfect human, but like Hannah Montana said, nobody's perfect; over time, if you play your cards right, it will evolve into the perfect acceptance of an imperfect person though.

You will cherish them, and you'll let them know that they're the reason for your heart being full. You will also know that they might be the reason it shatters as well. Will it be a result of one person feeling something that the other didn't? or will it be because you took that chance and life decided to get in the way before it could reach its tragic conclusion with old age death? Even in the best-case scenario, a love story is filled with bliss and constant companionship through life's less than pleasant parts, and ends with one dying before the other, resulting in - well to slightly steal from my favorite artist George Watsky - A heartbreaking that sounds like guitar strings snapping; It’s the notes of the song that’ll never play again.

It’s a hell of a gamble, betting that what you feel for another person is not only mutual, but also that it’s strong enough to propel you both into the best case tragedy. A tragedy you're looking forward to.

happy valentines day